Swiping Right on Love, Lust, and Everything In Between: Tinder
What Women Want: More Than Just a Shag . I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs on Tinder over the years. From awkward first dates to steamy one-night stands, I’ve seen it all. And let me tell you, navigating the murky waters of online dating is no walk in the park
That’s why I’ve put together this handy guide for my fellow Brits looking to up their Tinder game. Consider me your dating Sherpa, ready to lead you up the treacherous slopes of app dating and help you reach the peak of romantic success.
Grab a pint, put your feet up, and let’s dive right in!
What Women Want: More Than Just a Shag
Contrary to popular belief, most women aren’t on Tinder just looking for a casual hookup or one-night stand. Here’s what the ladies are really after:
- Companionship. Many women see Tinder as a way to meet someone to spend quality time with, whether that leads to romance or friendship. They want stimulating conversation and an escape from boredom.
- Confidence. A witty bio and strong conversational skills go a long way. Women are attracted to men who can make them laugh and hold their own.
- Effort. Put some thought into your profile and messages. No generic “hey” or copy-pasted lines. Show her you took the time to read her bio and make a unique connection.
- Safety. Meet in a public place and make her feel comfortable. Don’t come on too strong. Build trust first.
- Chemistry. Plan an activity for the first date to create moments of bonding. The spark either happens or it doesn’t. Don’t force it.
What Men Seek: A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That
As for gents, we tend to have more varied motivations for swiping right:
- Hookups. For some men, Tinder is purely about no-strings-attached fun between the sheets. But be upfront about your intentions.
- Dating. Many blokes turn to Tinder when looking for a girlfriend. Keep an open mind, chat with multiple matches, and don’t rush into exclusivity.
- Confidence boost. Getting matches and having flirty banter simply feels good. Don’t let it go to your head though.
- Curiosity. Swiping just to see who’s out there. Keep your expectations in check if you’re not seriously looking to meet.
- Boredom. Passing time on the bus or toilet. Remember there’s a real person behind the profile when you match though.
- Loneliness. Craving interaction and company. Be honest if you’re mostly seeking friendship.
- Travel. Using Tinder to meet locals when travelling abroad solo. Make the most of your free spirit!
Matters of Profile Pictures and Bios
As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. When it comes to choosing profile photos, keep these tips in mind:
- Lead with a clear headshot where your face is visible. Ditch the sunglasses.
- Include both solo shots and some with friends to show your social side.
- Pick photos that reflect your interests and personality – travelling, sports, nights out, etc.
- Don’t overload with group pics where you can’t tell who’s who.
- Selfies are okay in moderation. Avoid gym and bathroom mirror shots.
- Smile! Warm and inviting beats brooding and serious.
Your Tinder bio is your chance to show off your wit and charm. Follow these dos and don’ts:
- Share interests that could spark conversation – bands, sports teams, favourite pubs.
- Bring on the humour! Show off your cheeky British banter.
- Keep it short but intriguing. Leave them wanting to know more about you.
- List generic interests like “travelling” or “football”. Get specific!
- Ramble on too long or sound pretentious.
- Date yourself with outdated slang or cultural references.
- Mention exes, negative traits, or what you’re NOT looking for.
Mastering the Art of Tinder Chat
You’ve got a match! Now comes the really tricky part – moving the conversation off the app. These tips will help your chats flow smoothly:
- Personalise your opening line based on something in their bio or photos.
- Ask open-ended questions to get them talking about themselves. Listen closely.
- Share a funny anecdote or quirky observation to lighten the mood.
- Compliment them, but avoid comments solely focused on looks.
- If the conversation goes quiet, don’t fret. Match their response times. Double messaging rarely helps.
- Once you’ve established a rapport after 5-10 messages, suggest meeting for a drink or coffee.
- Set a date within a few days before momentum fizzles out. Don’t let texting drag on too long.
- Exchange numbers once plans are set. Move to WhatsApp or texting if the Tinder chat lags.
Navigating First Dates
You did it – you convinced your match to meet up ! Now it’s time to seal the deal:
- Start Simple: Opt for drinks at a familiar pub or coffee at a cafe you both like, as a relaxed setting is key.
- Conversation Tips: Prepare a few icebreaker questions or topics, but importantly, allow the conversation to flow organically.
- Moderate Drinking: While a little alcohol can ease nerves, remember to limit intake to maintain clear judgement.
- Paying Etiquette: Offer to pay for the first round, but be receptive if she prefers to split the bill.
- Body Language Awareness: Observe her body language, such as leaning in or away, to gauge her comfort and interest.
- Respect Boundaries: Avoid getting too physical too soon; wait for clear mutual signals before escalating physical contact.
- Extend the Date (If Going Well): If things are going well, suggest a walk, more drinks, or dinner to prolong the evening.
- End Politely: At the end of the date, kindly inquire about meeting again, but remain untroubled if she declines.
- Post-Date Follow-Up: Send a follow-up message to express enjoyment and interest in meeting again, keeping it light and positive.
Dealing With Rejection and Ghosting
Rejection and ghosting (suddenly stopping all contact) are unfortunate realities of Tinder you’ll likely encounter:
- Try not to take lack of responses personally. There are many possible reasons – she found someone else, got busy, lost Tinder motivation, etc.
- Unmatch or block any matches who are rude or insulting. Don’t waste time on negativity.
- After being ghosted, send one last message checking in. If no reply, move on gracefully.
- Reflect on conversations for patterns, but don’t obsess. Some people just aren’t direct communicators.
- Take breaks between swiping if you find rejection decreasing your confidence.
- Remember that compatibility is never guaranteed, even with amazing leads. Keep expectations realistic.
- Focus on having fun! You have nothing to lose. The right match will appreciate you for you.
Tinder Tips and FAQs
Q: How many matches should I aim for?
A: Quality over quantity. There’s no magic number. Better to chat with 5 matches deeply than clutter your inbox with dozens of superficial convos.
Q: When should I ask to meet up?
A: After establishing some rapport, usually within 5-15 messages. You want to capitalize on initial interest and take it offline.
Q: Is Tinder just for hookups?
A: It can be used for hookups, dating, or anything in between. Just be upfront about what you’re seeking when chatting.
Q: Is Tinder Free ?
A: The free version is fine for getting started. Upgrades provide more super likes and other features but aren’t essential.
Q: Is Tinder Porn ?
A: No, Tinder is not pornography. It’s a dating app where users swipe on profiles to find matches for dating and relationships. It has policies to prevent inappropriate content.
Q: Is There a Tinder UK ?
A: Yes, Tinder operates in the United Kingdom, as it does in many other countries. Users in the UK can download and use the app to connect with other local users for dating and socializing.
Q: Should I link Tinder to Instagram/Spotify?
A: Yes! Linking Tinder to Instagram or Spotify can enhance your profile and foster connections over shared interests, but consider privacy and use common sense .
Q: What if I never get matches?
A: Refresh your pics, improve your bio, adjust your age/distance filters, and keep trying! Patience is key.
Q: Is Tinder safe?
A: Follow basic safety precautions like meeting in public, letting a friend know where you’ll be, etc. Trust your instincts if something feels off.
Q: What’s the best time to use Tinder?
A: Evenings and weekends when people are less busy and more in “dating mode.” The start of a new week/month sees upticks too as people redownload the app.
Everything you need to go from Tinder newbie to dating app expert. Whether you’re looking for love, entertainment, or anything in between, following these suggestions can result in increased matches, more seamless conversations, and successful meetings.
May your swipes be fruitful and your banter on point. Just remember to keep a fun, lighthearted attitude. Dating should be enjoyable! Don’t lose hope if things fizzle out. Every match, good or bad, brings you one swipe closer to finding what you’re looking for.
Now get out there and start swiping! Just be sure to buy me a pint someday and tell me all about your Tinder tales. Cheers!