The Marvelous Manhood

The Marvelous Manhood . As men, we blokes spend a lot of time thinking about, handling, and relying on our trusty todgers. But how much do we really know about the male member? Turns out there are some fascinating facts and curiosities that may have passed us by. So grab a pint, settle in, and expand your knowledge of the willy, knob, pecker, or whatever you call it.

Size Matters…Or Does It?

Big penis . Small penis . We all wonder sometimes if we “measure up” in the trousers department. But the size of your chap likely matters less than you think.

  • The average erect wang is about 5.2 inches long. Anything between 3-7 inches is normal.
  • Most women don’t climax from penetration alone anyway, so your skill with hands, mouth, and toys matters more!
  • Positions, angles, and targeted stroking techniques can make even an average or smaller chap feel more satisfying.
  • Flaccid size has little correlation to erect size. Those grower blokes can surprise you!
  • If you’re on the larger side, take care not to cause discomfort or injury. Patience and prep are key.

So while porn makes it seem that bigger is better, the key to amazing sex is knowing how to use what you’ve got confidently. Judge your package by how happy it makes your partner, not arbitrary measurements.

Is Penis Enlargement Really Possible ?

How to make your penis bigger

Sorry lads, there are no quick fixes if you desire a longer lad. Methods claiming to increase penis size include:

  • Penis pumps – Create temporary swelling but no permanent gain. Can even damage tissue.
  • Jelqing exercises – No evidence they work long-term. Risk damaging blood vessels.
  • Surgery – An option in extreme cases, but often unsuccessful and risky.
  • Pills and oils – No proof of effectiveness. Use caution with any supplements.

Your best bet is accepting what you were born with and learning techniques to use it skillfully. Confidence is the ultimate enlarger.


Our reproductive organs have some quirky features thanks to our Creator .

  • The human penis has no bone, unlike many mammals. Staying firmly erect depends entirely on blood flow.
  • Average ejaculation speed is 28 mph (45 km/h), faster than Usain Bolt’s top sprinting speed!
  • Human sperm count reduced by nearly 60% between 1973 and 2011, possibly due to environmental toxins.
  • Fetuses can get erections in the womb. Bit awkward for the ultrasound tech!

While concerning, this trivia shows our manhood constantly adapts to stay reproductively fit. Hopefully ladies are also impressed by our other enhancements like humor, emotional intelligence, and good hygiene.

The Ins and Outs of Erections

Getting hard is a complex process we take for granted. Here’s what gives your chap a lift:

  • Touch, sight, sound, smell, fantasy, or other stimuli trigger nerves to release nitric oxide.
  • NO causes blood vessel walls in the penis to relax and widen.
  • More blood flows in, inflating the spongy tissues and strengthening the willy wrapper, the tunica albuginea.
  • Pressure from the swollen corpora cavernosa compresses veins, trapping blood inside the penis.
  • Once stimulation stops, enzyme PDE5 breaks down the NO, blood flows out, and the todger deflates.
  • Ejaculation propels semen through the urethra thanks to rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor muscles.

So getting a stiffy relies on a chain reaction of chemical, vascular, muscular, and neurological factors working in harmony. Now you know why blokes with heart disease or nerve damage may struggle to salute properly.

Morning Glory Explained

Ever wake up with a cracking hard-on and full bladder but couldn’t take a slash? Morning erections happen because:

  • At night, PDE5 drops allowing higher NO levels. We get 3-5 erections during REM sleep.
  • Upon waking, the reflex to pee causes arousal signals. But valves close off the urethra.
  • Blood gets trapped until stimulation stops and the stiffy subsides. Then we can finally have that glorious morning wee!

Penis Problems – When To See Your GP

Our beloved boners bring much joy, but sometimes issues arise. See your doctor if you experience:

  • Erectile dysfunction – Persistent inability to achieve or maintain erections.
  • Premature ejaculation – Reaching climax too quickly before wanting to.
  • Delayed ejaculation – Taking much longer than normal to ejaculate.
  • Curved erections – Could indicate Peyronie’s disease if severely bent.
  • Painful ejaculations – Potential sign of prostate or reproductive tract infection.
  • Lumps, sores, discharge or rash – Could be STI, cancer or other condition.
  • Reduced libido – Lack of interest in sex, low testosterone may be the cause.

Don’t be embarrassed to get checked out. Most penis problems are treatable with medication, therapy, or minor procedures. Protect your package proactively!

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Penis FAQ

Let’s tackle some burning willy questions you may be too shy to ask:

Q: Is it normal for my foreskin to be tight?

A: Some tightness is normal, but see your GP if it’s difficult to retract when erect. You may need circumcision to avoid pain and infection.

Q: Why does my chap bend to the left? Am I normal?

A: A slight curve of up to 30 degrees is typical. See your doctor if it’s severe or painful. Gentle stretching may help.

Q: I’m 18 and can’t retract my foreskin. What should I do?

A: Don’t force it. See your doctor to diagnose phimosis. Topical steroids, stretching exercises, or circumcision can often fix it.

Q: I’m peeing and ejaculating semen. What’s happening?

A: You may have retrograde ejaculation where semen goes to the bladder, not out the urethra. See a urologist as it can impact fertility.

Q: The tip of my willy is red, sore and itchy. Help!

A: Sounds like balanitis, an inflammation often caused by infection, irritation or poor hygiene. See your GP for treatment.

Q: How do I stop getting unwanted public erections?

A: Try wearing tighter trousers and focusing your mind elsewhere. They’re normal in teens and should become less frequent with age.

Q: Why is the tip of the penis mushroom shaped ?

A: Because it’s a fun-guy to be around.

Caring for Your Chap

Keep your chap in top shape with proper care:

  • Wash regularly with warm water – no need for special cleaners.
  • Moisturize if skin is dry – a little coconut oil works great.
  • Examine for any lumps, sores or discharge.
  • Use lubricant to avoid friction irritation during self-love.
  • Wear loose, natural fibre underwear and trousers.
  • Get checked for STIs every time you change partners.
  • See a doctor if pain, symptoms or concerns arise.

A few minutes of TLC daily will keep your willy happy for decades to come!

In Summary…

While the cock has an amusing reputation for having a “mind of its own,” it’s a complex organ that relies on our care to stay healthy. Having the confidence to use it skillfully comes more from experience and creativity than size. Evolution has shaped it into a marvel of human biology, so learn to appreciate your one-eyed trouser snake! Hopefully these fascinating facts help you understand your knob a bit better. After all, it brings so much joy, we ought to get to know it intimately. Cheers to our lifelong affair with the crown jewels!

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