A Laughable Tale of Bedroom Fitness Kegel for Beginners

Bedroom Fitness Kegel for Beginners . Once upon a time, I was like the ‘Usain Bolt’ of the bedroom – fast, too fast. Premature ejaculation was my unwanted sidekick, especially during my adventurous youth when I was playing musical chairs with partners. It was like clockwork, probably because each time I was more excited than a kid in a candy store with a golden ticket.

The DIY fix-it Kit for my Bedroom Blues

So, I turned into a detective, hunting down solutions and stumbled upon Kegel exercises for premature ejaculation.

Let me tell you, premature ejaculation has the worst timing. It’s like that awkward guest who shows up at the party too early. After a steamy prelude, just as things get going, bam! I’m done. Like this one time, in a dorm room, I barely managed to unbutton my jeans, and the girl gave a little ‘hello’ wave to my buddy downstairs. But as soon as she started undressing, surprise! I was like a human champagne bottle at a Grand Prix celebration.

After that, I tried the whole condom charade, but my little soldier was more ‘at ease’ than ‘attention.’ Felt like a chef with a blunt knife. But back in my college days, I had the recovery speed of a superhero – 20 minutes and ready for round two!

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How My Kegel Journey Started

Enough was enough. After numerous bedroom bloopers and delayed launches, I needed a solution. Spontaneous encounters were like playing Russian roulette. I tried to save face by offering oral presentations, but sometimes, you need more than a PowerPoint to impress.

Then, Eureka! Kegel exercises entered the scene. At first, I didn’t know they had a fancy name. I just thought of it as ‘pelvic powerlifting.’ But then, an embarrassing yet enlightening moment hit me at a college conference. There I was, in a hotel room, alcohol-fueled passion, and a pressing need to pee. Asking for a timeout wasn’t an option, so I tensed up like a cat in a cucumber field.

Miraculously, I found myself doing the Kegel hustle without even realizing it. Tense, release, repeat. It was like discovering a secret superpower. By the time she reached the crescendo, I was still in the game – a personal victory!

Post-climax, I finally let the Kegels rest, and so did I, right there in the safety of the latex lifeboat.

Kegel Exercises

The Bedroom Boot Camp Post-epiphany, I was a Kegel convert. It became my daily ritual, like brushing teeth but with more… pelvic enthusiasm.

How to Kegel, you ask? Imagine you’re stopping the flow of pee mid-stream. That’s your target muscle, the hero of this story, located somewhere between Testicle Town and Anus Avenue. These muscles are like the bouncers of your private club, controlling who gets in and out (metaphorically speaking).

Start with 50 clench-and-releases per day. It’s like giving your nether regions a secret handshake. At first, it’s awkward, like trying to pat your head and rub your belly. But with time, it becomes second nature.

Kegels Everywhere

And there I was, doing my Kegels everywhere – waiting for the bus, in line at the grocery store, even while watching reruns of ‘Friends.’ I became the stealth Kegel king, squeezing and releasing like a pelvic ninja.

So, did it work ?

You bet! I went from a ‘two-pump chump’ to a ‘marathon man.’ Not only did it improve my control, but it also made bedroom activities more like a Broadway show and less like a TV commercial – short and unsatisfying.

But remember, it’s not just about turning your pelvis into a fortress of solitude. It’s about learning the art of control, like a puppet master pulling the strings. Kegel exercises aren’t just about power; they’re about finesse.

In the end, Kegels were my unsung heroes. They turned my bedroom fiascos into triumphs, and for that, I salute them. So, here’s to Kegels, the unsung heroes of bedrooms everywhere!”

Kegel Exercise FAQs

How often should I do kegels ?

Aim for at least 3 sets of 10 kegels daily. Just takes a few minutes. Consistency is vital!

How long should I hold each kegel squeeze ?

Start with 2-5 second squeezes. Work up to holding for 10 seconds as you get stronger.

When will I see results ?

It takes 4-6 weeks of regular kegels to notice a difference. Patience grasshopper!

Do I need kegel weights or kegel balls ?

Kegel balls and Kegel weights can help, but you can do effective kegels without any kit.

Can I do too many kegels ?

It’s possible to overdo it. Start slow and listen to your body. Quality over quantity!

How tight should the squeeze feel ?

Focus on a moderate, comfortable squeeze. Don’t tense the muscle 100% or risk strains.

Should I do kegels during sex ?

Once you build strength, squeezing during sex can intensify pleasure and delay orgasm. Give it a go!

So there you have it – the complete guide to finding and strengthening your kegel muscles. I never thought my pelvic floor would be an asset. But doing kegels is like discovering a whole new world of sexual abilities you never knew existed. Give them a try and watch your sex life transform! Just be ready for some initial aches and pains. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a kegel session waiting…

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