Hilarious Adventure Into Sex Toys Land

Adventure Into Sex Toys Land. My girlfriend and I had hit a bit of a lull in the bedroom. Same old routine, you know? I wanted to surprise her with something fun to heat things up again. Little did I know the wild ride we’d embark on when I brought home our first sex toys . Let me regale you with the tale!

A Spot of Research

I asked my mate Nigel which sex toys I should buy my girlfriend. He suggested something called a “rabbit.” Sounded scary, but he swore it would drive her wild. I started googling these rabbit contraptions and whoa…there were more types than I could have imagined! I settled on a purple number with rotating beads and fluttering bunny ears. Here goes nothing!

The Unveiling

Candles lit, wine poured, Marvin Gaye crooning in the background. I presented my darling with the gift bag containing the new purple friend. Her eyes went wide, followed by the most delightful belly laugh. “Oh darling,” she said wiping tears. “This is going to be an adventure!”

Trial and Error

We were awkward as teenagers on prom night trying to figure out how to work this thing. I nearly elbowed her in the face trying to activate the rabbit ears. After lots of fumbling and giggling, we finally got the hang of it. I tell ya, once those rotating beads kicked into high gear, her moans could wake the neighbors! We both agreed this was well worth the learning curve.

Venturing Onward

Now that we’d survived the rabbit, we craved some new bedroom tricks. Next we tried a wand vibrator. Boy oh boy, when she flipped that thing onto full power, it nearly jiggled the fillings from my teeth! We jokingly use it now as a neck massager. Male sex toys , the cock ring was a game changer. I felt like a teenager again lasting all night long …mind blown!

Some Trial and More Error

We did make a few slip-ups in our sexplorations. Turns out nipple clamps aren’t really our thing—way too intense! And water-based lube plus a slippery glass toy left me with a bruised tailbone. Note to self: surfaces matter. My ego also took a hit when we tried a penis sleeve and her eyes rolled back. But hey, more lessons learned!

The Unexpected Bonuses

While the orgasms have been earth-shattering, the real gift has been the improved intimacy these toys brought us. We discuss our wants and curiosities openly now instead of hiding them away. We even have a “toy box” where we keep our growing collection and schedule nights to break out something new. It’s brought us closer than ever.

Tips and Tricks We’ve Picked Up

  • Silk scarves add a sexy blindfold element.
  • Coconut oil works wonders as an edible lube.
  • Clean toys thoroughly between uses and partners.
  • Start on low settings and work upwards.
  • Patience and laughter will get you through any mishaps!

FAQ on Our Journey

Over bottles of wine, we often reminisce about our funniest mishaps and trade tips with other couples. Here are some of the frequent questions that come up:

Can toys ever replace a real human?

Absolutely not! Sex toys enhance intimacy between partners, not replace.

Do toys mean our sex life is broken?

Not at all! Toys are healthy tools to try new things together.

Is there such a thing as too freaky?

If it brings you closer and hurts no one, go forth and explore new horizons!

How do you clean sex toys properly?

Warm soap and water, clean towels, and disinfectant spray keep toys pristine.

How can I talk to my partner about trying toys?

Make it a relaxed, judgement-free conversation outside the bedroom. Focus on it being a mutual adventure.

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The Moral of Our Freaky Tale

What have my partner and I gleaned from our foray into the wacky world of sex toys? That a spirit of playfulness and enthusiasm will liven up even the stalest of sex lives. We laugh more, judge less, and relish the opportunity to learn new ways of pleasing one another.

So , Adventure Into Sex Toys Land , come on, don’t be shy! Bring your sense of humor, get yourself a little something fun, and explore new horizons in your love life. Just please remember the lube…and clean those toys! Here’s to embracing your sexuality. Cheers!

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